If you’re reading this, then there’s a good chance that you want to feel complete, whole, and loved—and that you’re finding yourself unable to do so in your relationship with your partner. If this resonates with you, take heart: there are ways to feel whole without your partner. In fact, if you always look to your partner for validation, acceptance, and love to make you feel whole, you will never be satisfied with life and be truly happy, because you will always go back to seek the feeling you get from him or her. So many people look to their partner to fulfill all of their emotional needs, but this puts an unfair burden on them and on the relationship, too. After all, your partner doesn’t have the ability to make you feel whole—you have that power within yourself! To be truly happy in life, you need to learn how to find validation, acceptance, and love from yourself. Self-love will allow you to add value to your relationships instead of always seeking it from others. Here are four ways you can feel whole without your partner.
1) Love Yourself First
The hardest part of a relationship is often understanding that your happiness comes from within. If you always look to your partner for validation, acceptance, and love to make you feel whole, you will never be satisfied with life and be truly happy. Once you understand that no one can give you these things except yourself, then it becomes much easier to find someone who can make you happy. Because when you do find someone, it’s because they’re giving back what is inside of them—the same as how life works. It all starts by loving yourself first. You cannot give anything if there is nothing in your cup first! practice pouring into yourself. Because you cannot pour from an empty cup. Many of us have been programmed to put others first, think about others first, and care for others before ourselves. This can be an amazing trait, but it also means we’re constantly looking outwardly for validation and approval from other people—which can make you feel like your happiness depends on them. If you always look to your partner for validation, acceptance, and love to make you feel whole, you will never be satisfied with life and be truly happy because you will always go back to seek that feeling of feeling loved. The only way out is by learning how to love yourself first!
2) Stop Comparing
Comparing yourself to your partner or other people is not a healthy way to make yourself feel whole. Everyone experiences different things in life, and it’s impossible for you and your partner to have all of the same experiences; therefore, it’s unrealistic to expect both of you to react in exactly the same way. Comparing your experiences can lead to resentment and bitterness, so try making sure that you focus on being happy with yourself first and foremost. Not only will comparing hurt your relationship if one person is always trying to be like or better than their partner but there’s also no need: You’re unique, they’re unique — celebrate those differences!
3) Ignore Negative People
Sometimes, there are people in our lives who can bring us down, who try to make us feel insecure or unworthy. We don’t have to let these negative influences affect us. Ignore them! If someone makes you feel bad about yourself or puts you down, walk away from that person. Stop taking their calls and cut off all communication. You don’t have to be friends with everyone and if someone is being a bad influence on your life, it is better to not be friends with them at all!
4) Don’t Look For Love in All The Wrong Places
Some of us look to our partners for validation, acceptance, and love to make us feel whole. This can be really destructive; not only do we risk becoming codependent on our partners, but we also run a serious risk of never being satisfied with life and always going back to seek a feeling that our partner will never give us. If you want to truly be happy in your relationships, learn how to love yourself first—that’s when you become more valuable as a partner and stop seeking your validation outside of yourself. Focus on building trust in yourself and your ability to value other people’s opinions—and less on what your partner thinks of you.
Relationships are important, but they can’t and shouldn’t be your sole source of happiness. If you rely too heavily on your partner to make you feel whole, it can turn a healthy relationship into an unhealthy one. You will always feel discontent if all you focus on is how he or she makes you feel rather than spending time focusing on making yourself feel good. It’s okay to want external validation sometimes, but don’t let it rule your life. Learn to love yourself first; then find someone who wants to share in that with you. I’m not saying you should end a relationship because your partner isn’t making you feel complete. What I am saying is that if you don’t feel whole outside of your relationships, whether they be romantic or platonic, then there might be an issue to work on within yourself. If your happiness and self-worth are contingent upon someone else, then how can you ever truly love them for who they are? Not only that, but if all of your validation comes from one place or person then it will always leave you feeling empty inside. If seeking love from outside sources is causing stress and unhappiness in your life, try loving yourself first.