Communication is essential in any relationship but can also be one of the most challenging things to maintain. Communicating effectively with your partner requires openness, patience, and understanding, which are much easier said than done! When you’re feeling frustrated or having difficulty seeing eye-to-eye with your significant other, try these seven tips to help you communicate better.
1. Listen more than you talk
Communication doesn’t always have to be vocal. Studies show that listening actively affects how couples feel about each other when it comes to romantic relationships. By listening more than you talk, we don’t mean shutting up and interrupting every time your partner is speaking. We do mean keeping an ear out for underlying issues or areas of potential conflict so you can solve problems together in a mutually beneficial way. If you listen closely, great things can happen! It will help strengthen your relationship because communicating effectively makes both partners feel heard and understood. That kind of communication is vital to building trust and intimacy in any relationship.
Plus, there are times when talking just isn’t enough; sometimes, it helps to use physical touch. So cuddle up next time you want to connect with your loved one—it could make them happier (and even boost their immune system). It may sound counterintuitive, but touching can improve communication between partners as long as it’s done respectfully. For example, massage therapy has been shown to lower blood pressure and reduce stress hormones like cortisol that contribute to anxiety, depression, irritability, and pain sensitivity.
2. Be aware of his emotions
Everyone communicates differently, and there are many ways to say one thing. For example, consider how they might best receive your message if you’re trying to connect with someone. It can be difficult for some people to talk through their emotions (especially men!), so make sure you understand each other as best as possible. You want them to feel heard! Don’t assume anything: Sometimes, we assume things about our partner without realizing it. When communicating with them, try not to jump to conclusions about what they mean by certain statements or actions. This way, you won’t misread any signals and create unnecessary tension in your relationship.
Be honest: Honesty is an essential part of communication’ and a vital component of all healthy relationships. The more open you are with yourself and others, the more likely you’ll be able to reach out and resolve issues before they become big problems in your relationship.
3. Accept him for who he is
Everybody is different, and not everyone communicates effectively. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, but some ways will get you better results than others. People don’t respond well when they feel like they are being criticized or put down, so be sure that you are communicating in a supportive and caring way when speaking with your partner. People need acceptance and love before they can receive any advice on how to improve, so always look for ways that you can build up your self-esteem instead of tearing him down.
It might seem like common sense, but it’s important to remember that we all have communication styles and quirks. It doesn’t mean yours is wrong—it just means he has his unique way of doing things. So it takes patience and understanding to work through those differences together, so try to keep an open mind about something even if they initially seem strange. If you accept him for who he is, then you can start working on making changes in other areas as well!
4. Make him feel heard and loved
For a man to listen, he must feel heard. Make sure that your partner feels safe and comfortable in sharing his feelings. Make him feel valued by complimenting him on the little things he does or by remembering stories about some of his past accomplishments. This will make it easier for him to open up and be vulnerable without fear of being judged or ridiculed. Letting him know you’re listening goes a long way toward making effective communication possible between you two.
When you speak, try to use words full of feeling and not empty words like honey or sweetie. You’ll get better results if you focus on describing how he makes you feel instead of just using words to show affection. For example, if you tell him something like, “I’m thrilled when I’m with you,” he’ll not doubt that what’s important is your feelings toward each other rather than trying to win an argument. So by focusing on what matters most — feeling connected –you can improve your relationship and your ability to communicate effectively.
5. Trust him but verify
Don’t keep your concerns to yourself whenever you’re worried about a partner. It is tempting to turn a blind eye because you want things to work out, but constantly trying and failing is better than being oblivious and wondering why something doesn’t work later. Ask questions when something makes you uncomfortable. Verbalize what bothers you about someone else’s behavior so that things can move forward healthily. Communication truly is vital in any relationship, including romantic ones.
Don’t assume anything: Don’t enter a relationship thinking there won’t be problems or issues. Be prepared for conflict and know how to handle it if/when it arises. If you have an issue with your partner, talk about it! Tell him anyway, even if you think he should already know how you feel! He may not realize how his actions affect you, or he may not understand where your feelings are coming from. Both situations could lead to future fights if they aren’t addressed head-on early in a relationship. Take time for each other: Schedule time together even if one of you has plans for another event on another day.
6. Take his feelings into account
You are only half of a conversation when talking about your wants and needs in a relationship. You may have no trouble being upfront about what you like or don’t like, but it’s essential that you also consider his feelings when communicating. Don’t make him guess; tell him directly! Being blunt does not mean being unkind; instead, be specific about what he is doing that makes you feel good or makes things difficult for you in terms of making you feel loved and desired.
Try saying something along these lines: When I see that you have made dinner while I was at work, it makes me feel very appreciated. Thank you. Or, It can be challenging for me to know how much time we spend together as a couple since we both have busy schedules. Could we sit down and schedule some time each week where we focus on each other? That would help me feel more connected to you. By taking his feelings into account, you will communicate effectively—and create an environment where both of your needs are met.
7. Don’t go overboard on checking up on him
The thought of being with someone who doesn’t make you feel secure is terrifying. But keeping tabs on him 24/7 will likely backfire. Instead, schedule time for you to communicate about what’s important, and don’t be afraid to share how you feel without attacking him or his character also crucial that he hears what you need from him and feels safe sharing his feelings. Of course, this could take some practice, but talking about it together will help build trust and a stronger relationship.
Don’t try to change him: Men can be notoriously stubborn creatures, especially when they know they are right. Let him know that you respect his right to make decisions, even if they are not ones you agree with. Also, focus on ensuring those do’s or don’ts won’t cause damage in other areas of your relationship. Remember, he wants to love and respect just as much as anyone else does; work hard at finding ways to connect with him instead of trying to force changes in behavior. It may sound like common sense advice, but learning how to communicate effectively takes effort! Check out: Working on my relationship.