Relationships are precious but can, at times, hit a rocky patch. We often choose the easy way out and break up the partnership. Below are five essential ingredients for improving your relationship if you consider it worth working on.
Five essential ingredients to a healthy relationship
Effective communication
Talking to your partner is one thing. However, effective communication is sometimes misunderstood and overlooked. Effective communication includes active listening, knowing when to stay quiet and give support, and when to interject and share opinions. Often, we think we know what’s best for the person, and with that thought, we tend to listen less and provide advice to that person without really trying to understand things from their perspective. Your partners need to know you heard them. There is no multitasking in communication. You are either available to have a sit-down conversation that involves your undivided attention, or you can politely set a most convenient time, sooner than later. In this conversation, for it to be effective, the person on the receiving end will ask the right relevant questions to ensure understanding and also rephrasing your own words back to your partner at the right timing without being disruptive or disrespectful to reduce misunderstanding. The bottom line, practice active listening, especially for intense conversations that could have a positive or negative impact based on the outcome of the conversation. There is no such thing as multitasking while your partner is trying to have a serious discussion with you.
Respect
What’s a relationship without mutual respect? Without respect, the relationship will be filled with resentment and chaos, put it in simple terms. If you do not respect yourself or your partner, it leaves room for a carefree attitude, which can hurt the relationship even more than it is already hurting. A key to a toxic relationship involves disrespect.
Trust + honesty
Trust and honesty, as with respect, are also essential. Because there will be times when you do not like something about your partner, whether it be something that was done or said, and at this point, you cannot just rely on love. There is to be trust and honesty to work through the rough patch. Breaking someone’s trust is not always the easiest to regain. We are all imperfect, and sometimes things get the best of us, but being honest to yourself and your relationship, you will do everything in your power to maintain and nurture a trusting and honest relationship. Little lies are not so little. If you lie about the small and simple things, guess what? Lies add up, causing your partner not to trust you even if you are telling the truth. I often connect to the story of the boy who cried wolf, don’t cry wolf in your relationships; this will affect your credibility and hurt what you are trying to build. I know in some cases, people will say they are protecting their partners by lying. The funny thing about that is, that the truth always finds a way to come out, let your partner hear the truth from you, argue if you have to, agree to disagree if you must, but at the end of it all, work it out, depending on what you did, find out what to do to earn forgiveness and build trust with your partner.
Commitment
As imperfect human beings, our interest changes as we get older, mature, experienced, and have more exposure to different aspects and opportunities in life; commitment to your relationship can be an issue. It is essential to ask yourself, is the relationship worth losing over an unsure experiment, or is it worth fighting for through thick and thin? This will be a personal choice, and it is better to be upfront with your feelings rather than playing the game of having your cake and eating it too. Suppose you decide this is the relationship you want to be in, figure out ways you and your partner can continuously upgrade with the changes in your environment to ensure. In that case, it doesn’t go stagnant or filled with resentment towards each other.
FUN!!
Don’t forget to have fun!! Suppose you decide to stay in a committed relationship, whatever you consider that to be. Ensure this commitment is enjoyable and one in which you don’t try to be busy to avoid; instead, you look forward to building and growing together. Find what makes you both happy, even if you don’t share much. What can you both find pleasure in while doing it together? “variety is the spice of life.” Spice it up and grow old together. In conclusion, relationships take work, whether you want to believe there is a more natural way or not. It doesn’t have to be tedious if you and your partner understand the ins and outs of maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. This list of necessary ingredients for a healthy and happy relationship is not inclusive; there are more, which I will elaborate on as we continue this journey to build healthy relationships one person at a time.
